


Pain Shared is Pain Halved

by IneffableNightmare



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Dirk Gently Needs a Hug, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Pararibulitis (Dirk Gently), Todd Brotzman is Bad at Feelings, alternate season 2, alternate season ending, he also needs a break, post-Season 1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-04 04:43:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17297993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IneffableNightmare/pseuds/IneffableNightmare
Summary: When Todd finds himself burning on the bathroom floor of a restaurant, he isn't entirely sure what to do. Neither does Dirk, who can only learn from his own experiences with the Rowdy Three. They end up finding a solution of sorts.





	Pain Shared is Pain Halved

Dirk had been confused when it first started. A slight vibration through the back of the sofa- nothing too violent but noticeable. It was the desperate cry that had caught his attention and made him aware of the situation.  


 

Todd wasn't sure how he'd gotten there. It had been late and he couldn't sleep. He hadn't been sleeping for weeks. Not since the pararibulitis. He'd kept quiet about it; not speaking a word of it to Amanda or Farah and, most importantly, Dirk. He'd managed to convince Amanda that screams over the phone were nothing more then cries of worry for a possibly bad situation which _miraculously_ resolved itself. Which; it had been (a possibly bad situation yes but it was far from solving). Dirk had gone missing, Farah hadn't seen a single thing and Todd had collapsed to the floor of a bathroom as a human torch. After the unfolding events which lead to their reunion; Amanda had seemed to move on without uttering a word to another person.

 

Of course Todd had been concerned that Dirk would find out through the use of his strangely vague yet mind blowing abilities that he kept a hushed secret. But nothing had come of it; Dirk had been his usual hyperactive, over-enthusiastic self. When Todd was overtaken by the sickness he fell to the ground and screamed himself back from it. But that lead to anxiety filled exhaustion and his ability to sleep without panicking wasn't a possibility. He had to be _somewhere_ with _someone_. That somewhere being Dirk's apartment and that someone being Dirk.

 

Dirk's face had lit up when he opened the door to see his friend in front of him. His _best_ friend- as he liked to be specific. Todd had been rushed in quickly and, somehow, Dirk's smile grew with every passing second. Todd had stood at the door, awkwardly scratching his neck, watching Dirk frantically sort things out as if the state of the place meant anything to Todd. Todd was used to living in disappointment, Dirk's neat and almost painfully colourful apartment was definitely far from it.

 

Somehow Dirk had managed to convince him to watch the movies _Ringing of The Three Lords._ Dirk had nearly exploded with surprise and enthusiasm when Todd said he hadn't seen it. He'd shot up from his chair and said 'the one about the small people that steal jewellery from an eyeball? Isn't any of this ringing a bell??' to which the answer was; no. Dirk had made him tea- _insisted that he make him tea_ \- and they'd spent the movie watching intently. Todd let out a gasp at the first sip of the tea, he'd made his own a few times before but didn't compare in the slightest to Dirk's. The second the credits rolled the apartment was alive with conversation and reflection. Dirk pointed out that Todd had an uncanny resemblance to the main character Frito. Which he wasn't wrong about. They'd spoken to lengths about the characters and story; discussing their favourite scenes and moments until it was turning into the early hours of the morning. Dirk had insisted that Todd stay but his worry for the pararibulitis had resurfaced and kicked him from Dirk's home. Dirk's nice, warm, welcoming home before Todd was reintroduced to his own place- what he liked to think of as _The Depths of Hell_. As he thought back on the prior hours he realised something odd. He'd been _happy_. He'd been smiling and laughing, arguing his points and defending his opinion. The worry of his pararibulitis had barely entered his mind once. With his exhaustion being caused by a movie and good company; Todd managed to fall asleep for the first time in weeks.

 

So it became a ritual. Any night, no matter what hour, Dirk's house and arms were welcome to Todd and when he showed up what was being labeled 'movie hour' would become eminent. Of course Dirk had noticed his best friend's bad state; emotionally, mentally and physically. Todd's furious blinking driven by lack of sleep and the bags under his eyes reaching the resemblance of a black eye weren't discreet signs. Dirk had also noticed that his friend's already thin collarbones, cheekbones and jawline had become sharper which worried him. Todd wasn't sleeping nor eating and Dirk was fully aware of it. But he didn't ask, he knew he wouldn't get an answer. He just did what he thought would help- be a good friend. Along with making sure Todd ate while he was over- Dirk couldn't control what he did on his own time but he'd be damned if he let Todd starve while he was over. At first they sat on either side of the couch but with each passing night the gap seemed to get just a little bit smaller. Most night's Todd showed up in his pyjamas; light blue shorts and his Mexican Funeral shirt or the tank top with the American flag on it. Dirk smiled to himself every time he saw the flag, having given Todd that shirt. It was damaged by use and many other reasons such as the shark cat and the life or death situations he'd endured wearing that shirt but he'd kept it nonetheless.

 

That night, for the first time Todd had chosen the program- well, made a contribution to the choice. Dirk had decided on Doctor Who as Todd had described it as ' _Star Trek but with a lot more yelling_ ' and quickly erased Dirk's assumption that it was anything like The Bachelor. He'd first spotted it on the TV through a quick flicking of channels and had muttered "that one where people compete to be a doctor..." to which Todd had quickly corrected. This night, that gap had come to a close. Dirk's left and Todd's right leg were resting against each other slightly, their shoulders pressed together, occasionally their hands brushed but never did they dare look at the other for their faces would be mere centimeters apart and neither was sure exactly how to handle such closeness. Except for maybe blush and stutter for all of it was new to them and they both wanted nothing more than to keep each other close. He couldn't help but grin to himself at every noise Todd made at his tea, he constantly stated how good they were and demanded he share his secrets.

 

And that's when it started.

 

The vibration through the couch, the desperate cry. Todd was trembling beside Dirk and when he looked over to his friend; his eyes were welling with tears.

"Oh my god, Todd?" Dirk had exclaimed, turning himself so his right leg was over both of Todd's and took his shoulders in his hands. "What's happening, what's wrong?!"

"I--" Todd stuttered, the shaking becoming violent, "I-- I'm sick, para-"

" _Pararibulitis_?!" Dirk finished the word, blurting it out, "but you said you didn't have it?! That you were lying about it?!" Dirk clapped his hands to his mouth as he figured it out. "This is new..." he whispered, "oh dear god..."

Panic began to well inside him and when Dirk panicked, he struggled to concentrate.

" _What do I do??_ Todd, what's it like?"

"I- I'm d.." his eyes were rolling, "..disintegrating! Melting, I- I don't know!"

The first tear dropped from his eyes, his beautiful blue, terrified eyes.

"It just hurts.." his voice became a whimper. "It hurts so goddamn much."

Half way through the sentence he began sobbing, ripping the heart from Dirk's chest.

 

Dirk thought back to when Todd would help Amanda. He thought about how he helped her. He'd hug her, tell her it was okay. Then he thought of the Rowdy 3 and their odd methods of helping Amanda. Nothing seemed to be viable.

"Y-you're like them! Right? You're l-like the 3, you can do the energy drain??"

"Yes- no, but yes- no, no, I can't." Dirk exclaimed, not sure how to answer. The story was complicated. He'd not explained it in full to Todd, nor did he had the courage to. But he couldn't bare deny Todd some sort of hope. "It's complicated. I don't know how to do that, Todd! I'm so sorry!"

He threw himself forward, taking Todd's shoulders and pulling him into his arms. Todd buried himself into Dirk's chest, still sobbing and shaking. Dirk kept both arms firmly around his waist, keeping one hand on the back of his head in his hair.

"I'm so sorry.." he repeated, pressing his mouth into Todd's hair and closing his eyes- afraid he'd cry himself.

"You d-don't n-need to be sorry for anything, Dirk." He pulled himself back from Dirk's arms, staring dead at him with puffy red crying eyes. "You've helped s-so much and you don't even know it, t-thank you."

Dirk had been hopeful for those few seconds. Todd's condition had seemed to become more stable. But he was wrong. The shaking started up again, his horrific yelps and gasps of pain were difficult for Dirk to listen too.

 

Through all that pain, Todd lifted the corner of his mouth in a pitiful smile. For as long as Dirk could remember: he'd been alone. All he'd wanted someone close. There he was; Todd, struggling to deal with a sickness inside him. He refused to let Todd feel alone. Not then, not _ever_. He leaned across Todd's shaking hands, lingering his face in front of Todd's for a half a second before slowly pressing his lips to Todd's. Todd was still shaking and withering in pain but, eventually, Dirk felt him move into it. Dirk was slow and soft, trying his best not to set the sickness off again. Although his eyes were closed, the black became tinted with a blue. What felt like wind rushed around them and it wasn't until they broke apart did it stop. Dirk had pulled back by a few centimeters, lingering there as Todd slowly opened his eyes back up. Eyes sticky with tears and red from crying.

"I-" Dirk was stuttering. "I _apologise_ for my seemingly random course of action. I, just..." he had no real reason.

"That..." Todd trailed off, "that worked."

Dirk raised an eyebrow.

"It did?" He exclaimed before speaking professionally, "I mean- of course it did. That was my plan all along."

Todd cracked a smile at that.

"Seriously, the Rowdy 3's power. _That was it_. Or something close..." Todd told him, his eyes alive with wonder. 

"Was it?" Dirk exclaimed, sitting back with an expression of surprise. "Wow. Neat..."

"Thank you..." Todd admitted, trailing off and looking back to Dirk with his incredibly blue eyes. "Thank you for everything. You're a great friend."

Dirk found himself scoffing, slight blush on his cheeks and a twinkle in his eyes.

"No seriously." Todd lent forwards once more, pressing another soft kiss to Dirk's lips. "Thank you. There's _no one else_ I'd rather be assisting."

**Author's Note:**

> Man I wrote this back in early 2017 and only just stumbled across it again yesterday.  
> This was written as a follow up to the end of season 1, before season 2 had started.  
> A lot of the content regarding movies comes from the Dirk Gently's San Diego Comic-Con Panel Introduction.  
> "Books are longggg."  
> I will be honest, I miss this show. A lot.  
> It brought me smiles in times that they were rare. I thank it for that.


End file.
